You may have noticed that I put on a little weight during the holiday. First of all, I’m bulking up for the winter. Second, shut up.

Today I return to nature, if only for a little while, to collect my thoughts and clear my mind. Today is a good day.

Hmm, rainy and cold … Yes, this is acceptable.

Happy Halloween everyone! By the way, who’s giving out full-size candy bars? Asking for a friend.

I have snacks and a camera. Please bring me all the dogs.

What happened to Autumn? How is it Summer again? This is completely unacceptable.

The air is crisp and cool as thick, ominous clouds darken the night sky. Is there any better time of year than Spooky Season? To be clear, that was a rhetorical question and the answer is obviously no.

I’m a little fuzzy on how all these pumpkins ended up in my yard, although there may have been a late-night incident involving a grocery store and a getaway car. I should probably say no more.

After months of anticipation, the first day of Autumn has arrived, and already the scent of warm pumpkin pie and spiced eggnog drifts deliciously on the breeze. Wait … no, that’s just the Starbucks down the street. Well this is disappointing.

Which one of you moved the TV remote?